Have you ever noticed the way your child smiles at you? How their whole face lights up with absolute delight? It’s so endearing! Have you thought about what they see reflected in your face when they meet you in the morning or after a day at school?
So, many years ago I went through a big Maya Angelou phase, reading everything I could get my hands on. I remember her talking about being a mother. And how she regretted that she spent so much time fussing over things like was her son’s hair neat and tidy and his clothes clean. That what he saw reflected in her face was not delight to see him but rather a focus on what wasn’t right. So he might run in full of excitement and delight to be met with a critical gaze.
Then recently I was reading Richard Templar’s The Rules of Parenting where he talks about a similar thing; when they come in the door, saying ‘Muddy shoes off’ or ‘Homework now before anything else’ or ‘Don’t come in, the floor’s wet!’
Often we greet relative strangers in a more friendly fashion than we do our children or partners. Our children need to see that we are happy to see them. So let’s forget for a moment about the homework etc. and take a moment to be fully present when we reconnect with them after a separation. Hugs, kisses, beaming smiles, telling them how delighted we are to see them and how lovely it is to be back with them again.
Be sure and let me know how you get on in the comments below!
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PS: Next week, myself and my little girl are doing a day of Love Bombing so be sure and check back to see how we got on!!